Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize