He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
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At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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