I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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