No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
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I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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