Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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