My room smells like vodka and shame
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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