I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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