Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize