I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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