I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
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It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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