I'm gonna have a badass scar
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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