so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
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She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
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I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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