How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize