you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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