He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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