when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize