She is in my trunk
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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