Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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