The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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