he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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