i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize