Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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