I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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