when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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