I'm eating all of the evidence.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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