I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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