He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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