I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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