Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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