Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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