Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize