ya dads aren't the best wingmen
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize