Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize