Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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