2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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