Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize