so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize