just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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