Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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