I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
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My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
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Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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