I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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