also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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