I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My liver just had a heart attack.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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