Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize