we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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