i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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