I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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