Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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