I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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