Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize