Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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