Plan B is the new Plan A
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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